2 She died somewhere in Canaan. Her death didn’t really bother Abraham much. He went to where her body was lying, and there he nudged her with his foot to make sure she was finally dead.
3 Then Abraham called over one of his friends, he said;
4 “I suppose I have to bury her now, she was my wife afterall.”
5 The man replied to Abraham
6 “I have a cousin with a great piece of property. Fit for a King, or perhaps a Queen yes? I’m sure price is no object, he would be happy to sell it to you, and maybe a small finders fee for me yes? It has a lovely view of the ocean, it is dark, but dry and has a big lovely white stone to seal it with.”
7 Then Abraham rubbed his chin considering the proposal
8 He said to them; “Well I suppose she was my Queen, but maybe something less scenic? What about Zoltan’s son Ephron?”
9 “Doesn’t he have that cave in the middle of the swamp? You think he’d sell it to me?”
10 Ephron was there at the time.
11 He replied to Abraham; “I’m saving that for my Mother-in-law.”
12 Abraham cursed and turned back to the first guy.
13 “Ok, what is this place going to cost me?”
14 The first guy replied;
15 “I’m not sure if it’s for sale any longer, good caves are hard to come by these days.”
16 Abraham restrained himself from strangling the man through sheer force of will. “But just a few minutes ago you were trying to sell it to me.” The man shrugged, “A lot can happen in a few minutes.” Abraham called up his slaves with his silver getting the impression this was going to be quite costly.
17 In the end Abraham paid the price with a hefty finders fee.
18 He wasn’t happy about it, but he didn’t want to look bad in front of the others.
19 Then Abraham buried his wife in the cave he had bought
20 And locked her in with a giant stone, he didn’t want her coming back. Then he did a little happy dance and ran off to have some guilt free fun with his male slaves.
Commentary:
Isn’t much to say here, nothing really happened.I commend the guy that milked Abraham for everything he was worth – its too bad he didn’t have a friend in the crowd offering to bid higher and higher for the property, after all those gifts Abraham couldn’t have been as broke as he made out.
1 Some time later God walked in to Abraham’s camp. He called out; “Abraham, get your lazy ass over here!” Abraham replied; “What do you want now?”
2 Then God said; “Take your Son and climb that mountain over there, then roast him over the fire, I feel like eating some first born son today.” Abraham nodded; “Sure, I never really liked him much anyway – didn’t know you were a cannibal God, or does that count since you aren't actually human?”
3 Early the next morning Abraham got up and ordered his slaves to saddle the donkey, and chop some wood. Then he went back to bed until noon. When they were done they woke him once more and he gathered up his Son then set out for the mountain. “Taking Isaac for a sacrifice on the mountain Sarah, be back in a week or so.”
4 On the third day having lost Sarah somewhere back in the mountain he saw the perfect place not far off.
5 He said to the servants; “Go back and find Sarah, if she still insists on following you’d better tie her up or something. I’ll find you on the way back.”
6 Abraham strapped the wood on to his son’s shoulders, he was going to be dead soon anyway so using him like a packhorse wasn’t much of a burden. He carried the fire and knife himself.
7 Then Isaac said; “Father?” “Oh so you can talk,” Abraham replied. “Why do you want to roast me over a fire?” Asked Isaac.
8 “Well, God said he wanted to eat you, and you know we do whatever God asks right? Besides you’re not really my son – I’ve never slept with your mother.” replied Abraham.
9 They reached the place and God was dozing against a large flat stone waiting for them. Abraham started to arrange the wood and God woke up; “Took you long enough.” Abraham tied up Isaac and placed him on the wood.
10 Then he unsheathed the knife to kill his son
11 But then his wife came running up the path yelling; “Abraham! Abraham!” Sighing Abraham turned around considering killing her first; “What do you want woman?”
12 “Don’t you touch him, just because he isn’t really your son doesn’t mean you have to kill him! God was just testing you anyway, isn’t that right God?” yelled Sarah. God said; “I’m hungry, get on with it.”
13 Abraham looked up, Sarah was dragging a ram up the path with her. “Wouldn’t you rather have a nice juicy ram?” She asked. God sighed, “Just cook me something, I told you I was hungry days ago.”
14 So Abraham named that place ‘God ate a whole sheep’. To this day people say, ‘God, I could sure eat a whole sheep’.
15 God asked with his mouth full; “Was this ram grain fed?”
16 He said; “I still wonder what Isaac would have tasted like, but the mutton isn’t bad. I appreciate the fact that you were willing to sacrifice him Abraham, you always do what you’re told.”
17 Waving a bone God said; “I’ll bless you with lots of children, etc. etc. You know the stuff I usually say Abraham”
18 “Just write in a nice speech here when you record this on your blog.”
19 Then Abraham left with Sarah and Isaac. They found the servants tied up down the path, Abraham eyed Sarah, but she didn’t say anything.
20 Sometime later God pulled out a photo album to show Abraham how well his brother was doing in the kid department.
21 Uz, Buz, etc. Apparently his brother wasn’t that creative.
22 He had a bunch of sons
23 And was a grandfather already
24 Nahor even had a bunch of slave girls that he’d had sons by
Commentary:
It’s hard to tell if God was serious or not, Sarah got in the way before Abraham could actually do the deed. Maybe God would have brought the kid back to life or something – that was always one of his favourite tricks. I’m still kind of surprised that Abraham was just going to sacrifice his son … I think God kind of failed in trying to entice him to have kids of his own, he just doesn’t seem interested.
I suppose this is where the ‘eating the body of christ’ thing stems from. God must have had some kind of obsession with consuming your own kind.
There was a bunch more name dropping that I kind of glossed over since no one really cares what the sons of Nahor’s sons were named. The Bible is almost like a baby name book, if you see a story that you like name your kid after a main character! We have lots of main character names for your use, surely you can find something you like?
1 And sometime during the visitation by the beggars, the tryst at the King’s place, and on the march Sarah became pregnant. Just like God said.
2 She gave birth to a Son, just like God had said she would. During labour she wasn’t particularly happy about it, there was something about her ripping something off God and shoving it far enough down his throat that it came out the other end. Afterward she mellowed out a bit.
3 Abraham named the boy Isaac, which means ‘100 fathers’ (which was definitely possible).
4 When Isaac was 8 days old Abraham circumcised him just like God told him.
5 Abraham was 100 years old at this point.
6 Sarah said; “Everyone laughs at me when I say this is my Son, why do they laugh, did God make me a cosmic joke?”
7 “They don’t believe that we could have a child and I could nurse him, but I can and I will, just wait!”
8 Abraham had decided to throw a party for the day that Isaac was going to stop nursing, he was happy that he wouldn’t have to see Sarah’s breasts on display any longer.
9 That day Sarah saw Ishmael dressing Isaac up in little girl clothes and calling him a little princess.
10 Sarah complained to Abraham; “Get rid of the slave woman and her son, they will not make Isaac into a cross dresser like his supposed father.”
11 What Sarah said upset Abraham very much, he wanted his son to follow in his footsteps – girls were icky, and he wanted his son to realize that.
12 But God had been listening in and he said; “Do what she says, I’ve got plans for Ishmael that involve a big white whale, don’t worry about him.”
13 “Or maybe that’s another Ishmael – either way I’ll look out for him.”
14 Early the next morning Abraham dumped a bucket of water on Hagar to wake her up, and give her a bath, then handed over a bottle of water and some food. He brought them outside and handed them over to his slaves who herded them off into the desert with pointy sticks.
15 Hagar didn’t know what she was doing, so they drank all the water too fast. Ishmael tripped and fell into a bush that he couldn’t get out of and she didn’t even notice.
16 She wandered off and collapsed on the sand a short distance away. “I could have sworn I was walking with my son, where did he go?” Then she began to cry.
17 God was wandering by after waking up with an awful hangover and killer headache, the crying was more than he could take so he pulled down one of his angels to shut her up while he got as far away as possible.
The angel walked over and tapped Hagar on the shoulder, who looked up at him. “Be quiet or I’ll give you something to cry about,” said the Angel.
18 “Now go find the boy you lost, he’s got a lot of work to do.”
19 Hagar went to find her son and the angel started digging a well. When she got back water was pooling in the bottom of it. They both drank.
20 God came to hang out with Ishmael every once in a while and taught him how to shoot a bow.
21 Hagar stole a woman from Egypt for Ishmael to make his wife
22 Elsewhere Abimelech and Phicol were having a chat with Abraham. They said; “When we said you could pick anywhere to live we didn’t think you’d pick the only oasis near the city, we need this water.”
23 “And you’re using it for a sewer, we know God provides for you, but he doesn’t provide for us, so can you help us out here, we’ve been good to you haven’t we?”
24 Abraham said; “If you’d come to me in friendship, then this oasis that you need so dearly would be clean this very day. But you don’t ask with respect, you don’t offer friendship, you don’t even think to call me ‘Oh holy mighty Prophet of the One god’.”
25 “If you want to be my friend, then that is different – there are these servants of yours, they took my original sewer well, a friend would return that to me so I didn’t have to use the oasis.”
26 Abimelech said; “Of course I want to be your friend, but isn’t that Prophet thing overdoing it a bit?”
27 Abraham said; “Perhaps.” And they made each other friendship bracelets to wear for all time.
28 Seven slave girls came forward to Abraham and spoke with him.
29 Abimelech asked; “What is the meaning of these seven beautiful women?”
30 Abraham replied, “They want to make you an offer you can’t refuse. And as your friend I suggest you let them present it to you … privately.”
31 That place was named Beersheba which means ‘An offer you can’t refuse’ or ‘Place of the Horny King’.
32 In the morning Abimelech walked bowlegged back to his city.
33 Abraham found a tree to carve into a giant phallus so he could worship God there
34 And he stayed there for quite a while.
Commentary:
Sarah finally had a child, maybe she’ll get off Abraham’s back now? I’m surprised myself that she had a child that late in life, but who knows what things were like back then.
We also learn that the nation God had promised Abraham must be Sicily from the way he handled the king here, I didn’t know he had it in him. Apparently Abraham had some kind of power we don't know about, or the king was just really afraid of what God would do to him if he didn't make peace with Abraham.
Lastly - I do hope he wasn’t bathing in that oasis at the same time he was using it as a sewer, but I wouldn't put it past him.
1 Abraham had to leave his home, the smell from the valley spread far and wide, permeating everything.
2 Since they were travelling again Abraham decided to tell people that Sarah was his sister once more, it had worked out well for him last time after all. And once again Sarah was taken by the local king.
3 God was hanging out with Abimelech (the king) one night watching his harem dancers when he spotted Sarah in among them. He reached over and tweaked Abimelech’s nose; “What are you doing with Sarah? If anything happened to Abraham I’m going to shit on your city just like I did on Sodom!”
4 But Sarah had bit Abimelech’s hand and kicked him between the legs when he tried to get with her, so he hadn’t done anything yet; “Look, I didn’t do anything to her, you don’t need to crap all over my city.”
5 “She’s just Abraham’s sister anyway, he didn’t seem upset when I dragged her off. What did I do wrong?”
6 Then God said; “You’re probably right, Abraham is always trying to get rid of her – I already cursed her once with an STD and that didn’t stop her from sleeping around. So it’s probably a good thing you didn’t get in her pants.”
7 “Now send her back to Abraham – he’s a buddy of mine. And if you keep her here sooner or later your whole palace will be infected with what she has, I’ve seen it happen before.”
8 Early the next morning Abimelech called in his officials and told them what was going on, and warned them about the STD. One ran off to see a doctor immediately. It had already started.
9 Then Abimelech had his soldiers drag Abraham in to see him. “What have you done to my kingdom? You lied to me about your sister. She is your wife and can’t be kept satisfied, it’s wrong to take her somewhere that men live.
10 “Why did you bring her here?”
11 Abraham shrugged; “Last time the Pharaoh gave me a ton of presents to take her away, I’m kind of broke at the moment so figured it was worth a second try.”
12 “Anyway, she is my sister, so I wasn’t actually lying.”
13 “I told her I’m just not in to girls, so if she told people she was my sister they wouldn’t have a problem sleeping with her, and I was right.”
14 Then Abimelech gathered up some sheep to give Abraham and brought his wife out. He handcuffed them together to make sure he couldn’t leave her behind.
15 Abimelech said; “I’ll give you some land, anywhere you want, as long as you don’t stay in the city.”
16 He said to Sarah; “It’s too bad you didn’t polish the royal sceptre, but I appreciate that you didn’t want to sicken me, so I’m letting you keep all that silver you ‘borrowed’.”
17 Then Abraham waved to God who was sitting up next to the king. “Hi God, how’s it hanging?”
18 God adjusted himself and waved back to Abraham; “Better than these fellows, don’t worry I’ll heal all of them that your wife seduced now that you’re taking her away.”
Commentary:
I think the moral of this story is something like: Fool a Pharaoh once, shame on him - Fool a King with the same trick, shame on him too.
Not sure what God is thinking here with Abraham, he seems like the worst one of the bunch so far, but God is always on his side. I’m also curious why the king went right after Sarah, she’s stretching 100 years old at this point, surely there were younger women for him to choose from? I think Sarah exudes sex and men are just helpless around her, maybe that was what God blessed her with in the beginning?
1 One of the beggars had stuck around with Sarah, but the other two went down to Sodom after doing their thing. They found Lot sitting by the gate of the city. Lot said to them; “Do not go in there – WHOOO”
“But we’re looking for a whorehouse,” they answered. Sarah had given them some coin before they left.
3 “I have two daughters,” said Lot, holding out his hand for the coins. So the three of them went back to his house.
4 Before Lot could get his guests in to bed there was a knock at the door.
5 The men outside called out to Lot; “You know the rules! Theres a waiting list for hosting strangers, you already had your turn! We want to see these strangers, are they single?”
6 Lot went outside to meet them and closed the door.
7 He said to them, “I saw them first, the man who waits by the gate gets the hot strangers.”
8 “But look, my daughters are pretty insatiable, how about when the guys are done with them I bring them out for you guys to play with? I don’t think these guys are bi-sexual anyway, you’ll have more fun with the girls.”
9 “We’ll take them, and your daughters, we can have a big orgy right here, that will be fun right guys?” RIGHT … “And if you don’t let us in we’ll start with you.” One of them started to bend Lot over and he screamed like a girl.
10 The men inside reached out through a window and dragged Lot inside. “What kind of parties do you guys throw here?” They asked.
11 One of them grabbed a hose and started to spray down the mob with cold water – “Chill out!” he yelled out to them.
12 The second man said to Lot, “I don’t think we have time to mess around with your daughters, we should probably get out of here.”
13 “We aren’t supposed to tell anyone this, but God sent us down here, and told us to look around – and if we didn’t like it he was going to destroy it. But since you were going to be so nice to us I think we’ll spare you.”
14 Lot went out the back and kicked awake the two drunkards that had promised to marry his daughters. “Hurry up and get out of here, God is going to destroy the whole city!” One of them laughed and waved his hand; “You tried that one last week to get us up Lot, you need to be more original.” Then he belched and passed back out.
15 Lot went back inside and the two men shoved his wife and daughters at him; “Hurry up and get out of here.”
16 Lot started to get suspicious; “Wait a minute now, are you just trying to steal my house? I mean is God really going to destroy the city?” The two men took him by the hand and started leading him outside; “Look we’re putting up a really bad review on Travelocity, he’ll see it and take the appropriate action.”
17 When the five of them were outside the city they shoved Lot and his family forward, “Run forest run! Don’t look back either unless you really like salt.”
18 But Lot held his ground, “I’m old, I can’t run that far …
19 And if you’re just after my house I want to be able to come back here tomorrow and give you what’s for.
20 I’m going to hobble over to the village named Small. Tell God not to destroy it too ok?”
21 God came walking down the road rolling up his sleeves; “You talk too much Lot, get out of here.”
22 “I’ll put a bubble around Smallville, but you have to get there first so hurry up – I’m in a bad mood and want to get started on this city destroying right away.”
23 Lot didn’t waste any more time, he’d seen God in a bad mood before.
24 When Lot arrived in Smallville he heard great thundering farts and crashing coming from Sodom.
25 God was really letting go, the temptation to look was very strong, but Lot didn’t like Salt.
26 Lot’s wife did like salt so she looked back, and God caught her watching; “Stupid women who don’t listen,” he muttered and turned her into a giant salt statue.
27 The ruckus woke Abraham up early and he went to see what was happening.
28 Steam was rising from the valley - it looked like someone had taken a giant dump, completely covering everything in shit.
29 And in the middle of it was an island of safety – Smallville.
30 The stench was awful and Lot couldn’t stand it so he left with his daughters to live in a mountain cave up wind of the valley.
31 One day after they’d been up there alone for a while the older daughter said to the younger; “I’m really horny, I don’t think I can take this much longer, we’re up here alone with just our father.”
32 “I say we get him drunk and have our way with him – I’ve always had a ‘daddy’ fetish anyway.”
33 That night they got Lot plastered and had their way with him.
34 The next day the daughters talked again; “That went great, let’s do it again tonight.”
35 So they got Lot plastered again and had their way with him. They didn’t even mind doing all the work, Lot had been popular with the other men for good reason.
36 They ran out of wine quickly, but by then Lot had come around to the idea and being that his wife was gone he started to enjoy himself too. After a few months both the daughters were pregnant.
37 The older daughter had a son.
38 So did the younger.
Commentary:
Not sure exactly what the lesson was here. God put too much faith in those two men and their review of the town. What had happened if they’d stayed at a 5 star hotel and had a great night? One bad review shouldn’t ruin the whole town should it? And not just the one town, God took a dump on the whole valley. So God actually kind of lied to Abraham, he didn’t even check the whole city to see if there were good people in it – I mean, the whole city didn’t show up at Lot’s door did it?
Also – incest? Really? These are the people God decided to save out of the whole valley, and here they are fornicating in a cave. I know that God is really in to this having kids thing, but I think this is a bit overboard – don’t’ you?
1 God walked over to Abraham one day when Abraham was sitting by his tent.
2 Then Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. He turned away. God kicked him in the side; “What’s the matter with you, show these guys some hospitality.” Abraham got up and trudged over to the three of them
3 He said; “I’ve got water and food if you can pay for it, let’s see some of your coin. After that you can be on your way – if you stay I’ll have to circumcise you, and trust me, it sucks.”
4 One of the men said; “We are poor, bring us some water to wash our feet, then we’ll rest here under this tree.”
5 God said; “Bring them food to give them strength, and the water.” Abraham muttered something about not being a charity but he went to take care of things.
6 Abraham hurried back to his tent, to Sarah he said; “God is making me feed some beggars, get that mouldy old bread you baked last week, we’ll feed that to them.”
7 Then he went out to the herd and picked one of the lame shaggy calves that was going to have to be put down anyway. He gave it over to a slave to prepare.
8 He cornered a slave before they could throw away curdled milk and brought that with him. All of it he fed to the men and stood around waiting to see if they complained.
9 “Where is your wife?” the three men asked him. “God said we’d get to see her if we showed up here today.” Abraham replied with a wave; “Over there in the tent.”
10 Then God said; “Did you really have to serve them spoiled food?” Abraham shrugged; “Beggars can’t be choosers.” God nodded and said; “I’ll be back next year Abraham to see your new son.”
11 Abraham and Sara were far too old to have a baby
12 So Sarah laughed at the thought; “Why does my husband always listen to this old fool, he doesn’t know anything. Maybe he should have a baby, now I’d pay to see that. I’ll start praying for that every day and see what comes of it.”
13 Then God asked Abraham; “Why did Sarah laugh and call me an idiot? Doesn’t she know I can hear and see everything? Remember that time you stuck your tongue out at my back when you thought I wasn’t looking?”
14 “This baby nonsense is all solved, she’ll have sex with each of these three beggars here and next year she’ll be pregnant.”
15 That shut Sarah up, and she eyed the three men sceptically. “I didn’t laugh,” she muttered. God fwapped her upside the head; “Don’t lie to me.”
16 The three men got up and went in to the tent. There was murmuring and giggling from inside. Abraham walked along down the road to get out of earshot.
17 Then God said; “I wonder if I should tell Abraham what I’m about to do”
18 As usual God just randomly spoke to himself out loud when he was thinking
19 “I know I’ve chosen him, and I still can’t believe he actually went along with that circumcision thing.”
20 Then God said; “I’ve heard from a friend, that their friend’s second cousin who visited Sodom and Gomorrah once said that things are pretty bad there.
21 So I’m going to go down and take a look to see for myself. If they really are sleeping till noon, biting their nails and eating fish on Tuesday I’ll see it.”
22 “Is all that really bad?” asked Abraham
23 “What about the good people that get up early and work hard and maybe can’t afford fish?”
24 “What if there are 50 good people in the city, will you destroy it all even with them inside it?”
25 “I mean, most of them might deserve it – but is that all it takes?”
26 God replied; “You’re right, 50 people are enough to spare it, even if most of them deserve to die.”
27 Then Abraham asked again; “What about 45?”
28 God said; “If there are 45 I won’t destroy it.”
29 “How about 40?” – “I won’t do it.”
30 “30?” – “No, even if there are only 30 I won’t do it.”
31 “20?” – “If there are 20 I won’t destroy it”
32 “How about 10?” – and finally God said; “Enough Abraham, if there are 10 I won’t destroy it either, enough with the questions already.”
33 And God left. Abraham returned home.
Commentary:
So God doesn’t really have a problem with extramarital affairs. At least in the case of Abraham and Sarah anyway. He even played matchmaker. I suppose he would have had to search for a while to find someone that could impregnate a 100 year old woman.
I found the little exchange at the end interesting, if God hadn’t left would it have kept going … 5? 4? 1? … that’s a good question, how many people who sleep in and eat fish on the proper day does it take to save a city? Couldn’t Abraham just go and squat there until god lost interest to save it – kind of like an olden days lying in front of a bulldozer?
1 When Abram was 99 years old God came to him. He said; “Get off your rear and come walk with me”
2 “I’ve got a new idea and you’re going to be my test case to see how it goes.”
3 Abram tripped and fell flat on his face. God looked down at him for a moment then nudged him with his foot. God said
4 “Get up, you’re going to be the father of nations, no sleeping on the job.”
5 “I came up with a new name for you to go with your new role in history. What do you think of - Abraham! – way better than Abram don’t you think?”
6 “Now that you’ve gotten started with the children thing I’ll be giving you many more, whole nations of them! You’re up to all the extra sex right? What do you think of being the father of Kings eh?”
7 “But first, my idea. Now I don’t do things half way right, so – this is forever. All your children will worship me as their God and I’ll look out for them.”
8 “I know you still haven’t gotten around to conquering the whole world with your army, but it will come, trust me.”
9 “All you have to do, is keep on doing what I’m about to tell you to do – that’s it, that’s the deal”
10 “So this is it – every male among you must be circumcised.” Abraham looked confused; “What is circumcised?”
11 And God said; “I think it would be cool to cut off the extra skin from your penis. You aren’t using it anyway and it’s kind of just hanging out there. Abraham said; “You want to cut off my what!!”
12 “It’s for your own good, and it’ll probably stop you guys from spanking it yourselves. You have to have more children, I don’t know how many times I have to say it. I think it’ll look cool too - so every man older than eight will be circumcised.
13 Any male born into your house as well as all the slaves must be circumcised. In this way your body with have the mark of my covenant on it.”
14 “So what you want to be able to admire everyone’s shlong? What about just the slaves, just them?” God replied; “I’ll give you a week to get it done, any male not circumcised will have broken my deal and I order them banished.”
15 God said to Abraham; “I came up with a new name for your wife too, her name will now be – Sarah!”
16 “I’ll be going to see her too, since you aren’t taking care of business I’ll warm her up for you. But you still need to have a son, at least one, with your real wife.”
17 Abraham tripped and fell again, landing flat on his face. He laughed at God; “She’s too old for children, I’m 90, she is 100”
18 “Ishmael is man enough anyway isn’t he?”
19 God said; “I heard Ishmael is quite … manly. I think I’ll circumcise him myself to get an idea of what it really looks like. But you still need to have a son with your real wife.”
20 “Don’t worry about Ishmael, from what I hear he’s already the father of a bunch of children.”
21 “And by this time next year you’d better have a son with Sarah, or the whole deal is off and I’ll just cause all your pickles to rot off instead since you aren’t using them properly.”
22 And God left to go circumcise Ishmael before Abraham could argue any further
23 With the threat of rotting off hanging over his head Abraham circumcised every male in the surrounding countryside.
24 Abraham was 99 years old
25 Ishmael was 13
26 There was much yelling and screaming that day
27 And there was more than one unsatisfied woman for the next month or so
Commentary:
This was painful to write about – anything in that sensitive area always has that kind of gut clench reaction. Of course I really don’t get the idea behind it – I think on this particular day God was eating or smoking something that messed with his mind. I mean, all on the same day he just randomly decided to rename the two of them, and in addition to just hack off some (debateably) non critical part of them. I mean, why did he create it in the first place, if he didn’t like it he could have just got rid of it with his Godly powers.
Maybe it’s all about control; he wanted to see if they’d actually do it. Yeah, that’s probably what it is. I mean if I appeared in to your house as a burning bush or something and was like …
“Hi, I’ve decided to name you Bob and her Mary. Now, go cut off the last digit of your pinky Bob. You and every male you know or own will cut off the last digit of their pinkies. If they do that I’ll give you a bunch of land and bless you with lots of kids, and forever and I’ll look after your children as long as they keep cutting off their pinkies.”
