Genesis X

1 Here is the boring the story of Shem, Ham and Japheth. They had lots of sons, but oddly no daughters.

2 Notable names of Japheth’s sons are: Gomer, Tuber, Tirdas, Maddog

3 Gomer had some sons

4 The rest of them had sons

5 They left home and went to live by the oceans. One of them told a bad joke, and from then on the rest refused to speak the same language and never spoke to each other again.

6 Notable names of Ham’s sons were: Cushion, Putty, Cancan. He wasn’t as creative as his brother and always hated having an unfortunate name himself.

7 The sons had some sons too

8 Cushion was the father of Nimrod – who was a huge giant of a man … with a very small brain.

9 He would have been a mighty hunter but never could figure out how to hold a weapon. That is why people sometimes compare others with Nimrod. They say; “They are like Nimrod, a bunch of idiots and fools.”

10 At first there was only Nimrod, but God had blessed him below the belt, and he soon spawned a whole people of his own, the Nimrods, who kept getting lost – and drunk - and so spread through a huge kingdom.

11 Everywhere they wandered off and decided to settle cities eventually sprung up

12 Even the great city of Nineveh was founded this way.

13 Egypt had a bunch of people that came from him and don’t matter anymore

14 And when I say lots, I mean –lots-

15 Cancan had a bunch of kids

16 And fathered a bunch of peoples

17 Father of some special tribes

18 And other tribes who eventually scattered

19 They had a huge territory, which according to legend they required due to the rank smell of their populace

20 And that sums up all of Ham’s sons

21 Shem had some sons too.

22 Notable names: Asshurt

23 Notable names of his sons sons: Oz, Hulk

24 And on down the line

25 And at some point the earth was divided in half with no other explaination

26 But his line was quite heavy in sons

27 And they stretched through big kingdoms too

28 More useless names

29 And more sons.

30 The area they lived was mostly hilly country. Most of their industry was involved in the manufacture of sleds for winter time – since they were lacking in most other forms of entertainment.

31 And that sums up Shem’s sons.

32 And that completes the direct line to Noah.



Commentary:

We must infer that either:
1) Noah shared all his wives out with his sons, and their sons
2) Aliens once more arrived to drop off a new crop of fertile young slave-humans from another world.
I personally go with the alien option, it seems the most likely. Noah’s wives couldn’t have lived all that long without the magical fruit, and since it looks like only sons were born to all of his sons down multiple generations (what bad luck), though I suppose some cultures might be jealous.

Generally I find these sections boring, other than the part about Nimrod, knowing the origin of that is actually pretty cool. The first simpleton, way back when. I think perhaps a bunch of people paid a fortune to have one of the grandfathers names stuck in here somewhere so they could point and say ‘Hey, look Noah is my 7 times over grandfather, cool eh?’